When I got engaged to a father of three, I went looking for help. But all I could find was advice about managing custody hand offs, disciplining stepkids, and bumping into "Mom" at soccer games.

Where the stepparenting literature left off, my questions began. My stepchildren had diplomas, car keys, and credit cards of their own. How was I going to develop relationships with these busy young people while they were setting off to conquer the world?

All the advice givers seemed to assume that people over 18 aren't affected by parental remarriage. I knew otherwise from personal experience--my parents divorced when I was 19 and both remarried the summer after I graduated from college. These events defined my 20's, colored my 30's, continue to affect me well into my forties. 

I was eager to do a good job as a stepparent, but I had no idea where to begin. It turns out that I wasn't alone: millions of people just like me were and are struggling with the challenges of becoming stepparents to young adults, including:

·  Meeting and developing relationships with young people as they are moving away from family

·  Getting engaged and married to the parent of a young adult

·  Setting new household rules and expectations with adult children

·  Surviving the stepfamily holiday gauntlet

·  Dealing with ongoing financial dependencies of young adults

·  Creating a support team for perspective, sound thinking, and emotional bolstering.

People today are less reluctant to divorce and remarry in middle age; the window between the 18^th and 25^th year of marriage is now the second highest risk period for divorce. And, whether their parents are divorced or not, young people are having a harder time moving out on their own and achieving financial and emotional independence. Stepparents of young adults stand at the intersection of these two trends and feel their impact every day. Many of us could use a little information and support. 

Evilstepmom.org is designed to help stepfamilies with young adults understand these trends and deal head-on with the  challenges they present. Through articles, interviews, and research updates, evilstepmom.org will capture, and help you cut through, the complexity and confusion of situations that arise for practically everyone who is starting or continuing down the road to stepparenting a young adult while launching a new marriage.

Evilstepmom.org is here to help you think about how to build a stronger, more flexible stepfamily. Please write to us at ESM@evilstepmom.org with your stepfamily stories, questions, or suggestions for topics you'd like to see covered here in the future.

Stay strong,

Evil Stepmom